Puzzles

  Miss B and Holly are polar opposites. If I do anything to offend Miss B, she will let me know with very subtle challenges, such as pushing her shoulder at me even if her barrel is bent away. She is also lazy and will try every shortcut in the book, but once I earned her trust and respect, I could tell she was there all the way, and she's never rude if I don't deserve it. Holly, however, is super expressive, and if I do anything wrong, she will let me know exactly what with big, bold gestures. She has an incredible work ethic, which unfortunately oftentimes works against me, as she does not tire easily, and never lets down her guard. Just when I think I’ve earned her respect, five seconds later she’ll put up a wall, and act like she never even joined up with me.

  I think their oppositeness is what allows me to deal with them, because if it wasn’t for Miss B’s sweet, honest actions, I don’t think I could get through the way Holly rejects me. For the longest time I thought I was actually accomplishing things with Holly; she was so soft and responsive, yawning when I was around, and generally just letting me be the leader so she could take a break. But, now she’s back to stoic defiant wild mare who has to protect Miss B from the world’s dangers while also being the biggest face biting bully. She’s turning her butt to me in the pasture when she thinks I can’t push back, she even pinned her ears at me when I went to her shoulder while she was eating!

  What I think happened with Holly is that through me not being there for her over this fall and winter, she has slowly lost all the trust and respect she had in me this summer, and is making me again prove to her that I am worth her time. I have to find some way to show her that I can make her feel better with me than she ever could on her own. The big question is how? I really don’t want her to become round pen sour (not wanting to go into the round pen because all there is, is work) like she was last year. Maybe it’s just an endless cycle of tests I must pass, and every time I grow up a little? The horses are just like a giant puzzle where the pieces kept getting mixed up and lost, and I have to fix and find them. *Sigh* 

Moving Forward

   Well, after a very long time of not doing much with my horses, I've started up a schedule again. My plan is to ride (in the round pen) Miss B and Holly once a week (on different days). Two of the five days I won't be riding, I will just tack up, round pen, and lunge. The other three days, I will just grain them indoors, and hang with them outside, bonding, and showing them that I'm not all work and no play.
   This was decided today, after I found that not only is Holly still rideable (she has only been ridden about 10 times in her life, and the last time she was ridden was the end of August.), but she has actually improved since her last ride, not stayed the same, or gone backward as I'd imagined. Of course this could be due to my improved confidence from the Dressage lessons (which sadly are over now because of MASS amounts of snow), so I'm not afraid to ask for more out of Holly. More being changing direction across the round pen, asking her to stay on the outside, stopping, and backing up. You must realize that I have been terrified of riding this horse for forever, and so it is a big step for me to actually get on and do something. I have no more excuses  because Holly's ground work is impeccable, and there are no more areas to improve in.
    However, Miss B is showing her bad side. She is really making me work and step up my game in round penning, because I have to watch for all her challenges, and figure out how to respond. Just tonight, she refused to go clockwise while round penning. It took some creative thinking to get Miss B to do what I wanted while still being respectful to her, but I did it, and it paid off, as I got some huge bows and sighs from her.
   I'm sorry if some of my lingo is confusing to any readers (if there even are any), but those of you using Chris Irwin's methods will know what I'm talking about. You can let me know if you don't understand anything in the comments, and in the future I will work at being more descriptive.

The End of an Era

    When the news of Hickstead's death reached me, the first thing that came into my mind was denial. There was no way a great horse such as him could have an end such as it was. Hickstead was a horse that deserved another Olympic performance, a retiring ceremony, and many more years relaxing on a stud farm. But when I watch the video, the great horse sinking to the ground, carefully rolling as if to set Eric safely down, I realized there was no denying it. Hickstead's death had really happened, and there was nothing I nor any other could do to change it. After this realization, I felt numb, but with a slight stinging to it, like the feeling you get when you've just been slapped. The tears came, quickly and heavily, and then the memories.
    The first time I saw that amazing equine, he and Eric Lamaze were competing in the 2007 CN International at the Spruce Meadows Masters tournament. Even though I didn't know the pair, I liked them instantly. There was something about Hickstead, the way his internal fire was so strong that it just radiated out of him, and made him impossible to forget. He wasn't a big horse by showjumping standards, but when he was in the ring he seemed to grow a few inches, and I swear to God he sported invidible wings. Hickstead's name kept popping up in Canadian showjumping news, and I was so proud of him and Eric. Truthfilly, they were the first showjumping pair that I followed closely.

Eric Lamaze and Hickstead winning the CN International in 2007

    The second memory I have of Eric and Hickstead was when they qualified for the Bejing Olympics. I felt so smug because I had known in my heart for a long time that they would make it. Even when he and Eric won gold and silver for our country, I wasn't surprised. Proud and happy, yes, but not surprised, as I had know again that they would be successful.

Hickstead clearing the water jump at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing

   A few years passed, and I still looked forward to hearing about what Hickstead would do next. I had the amazing chance to visit Spruce Meadows in Calgary for their Masters Tournoment in 2010. There, my passion for all things horsey, expanded to include a much larger piece of showjumping. All of the horses were gorgeous and talented, but really there was only one I was crossing my fingers and toes in hope of meeting. When I finally saw him up close in the warm-up ring, I almost felt that I should kneel in reverence or something. But instead I just stood there, trembling in awe, taking in Hickstead raw and awesome power. Finally I was close to the horse who had truly inspired me. Unfortunatly, they did not win the CN International that year, as Eric was saving himself for WEG and trying not to rebreak his then injured foot, but they put on a great show, Hickstead clearing the massive oxer at the end of the course with room to spare.

A picture I took of Hickstead and Eric in the Cana Cup while I was at Spruce Meadows

    After my time at Spruce Meadows, I began following showjumping more, especially Hickstead and Eric. I rejoiced at their successes at WEG, and followed them across the tournaments in Europe, right up until he was back on home turf, at the Masters Tournament. Unfortunately I was not able to attend it, but I was glues to what I could see of it on CBC. I could barely watch the last round, when he tacked an extremely difficult course and, and completed it successfully, even while losing a shoe mid-round. I feel extremely blessed to have been able to witness Hickstead's last win on Canadian soil.

Hickstead and Eric at WEG in Kentucky, 2010

Eric cherishing his and Hickstead's final win on Canadian soil. 

Eric thanking Hickstead after their win at the CN International 2011

    Hickstead was a champion, through and though, and it was obvious, even from his unruly beginning. However, Eric found a way to channel Hickstead's greatness, and they became a partnership so great it is unlikely to see another one of that magnitude for a very long time. It has been said that for a rider there is only one horse, and for a horse there is only one rider, and this could not ring any truer than for Eric and Hickstead. They were made for each other, and Eric was just the right key to unlock all of Hickstead's potential.

    I am still reeling from the shock of what happened, but I am comforted by the fact that Hickstead achieved what I believe he was destined to. He became the best in the world, uniting a nation into hoping and praying for him in the Olympics, and inspired a lowly wannabe to reach out and make something of myself. Hickstead, no matter how much I am ridiculed for crying for you and told you were "just a horse", I will always know you were so much more than that. You changed my life. You were the best horse in the world, and you will forever live on in my heart and the hearts of many other Canadians who loved you just as much as I. So take those invisible wings and fly home, my boy.

Life

 It is amazing how life just seems to come up behind you and steal time away. I've had a very busy summer, and I am very sorry for not updating this blog, not that anyone other than me seems to be reading it. The horses and I have been going through some ups and downs. I bought a new saddle (English) and it fits Holly very well. I even rode her twice in the round pen. The first time it was very jerky, and she was braced like she expected to run into a brick wall, but the second time, a week later, was very smooth, if short. After that, the days kind of just ran away, and before long, I encountered another road block. My horses had escaped, and were no where to be found. But, mercifully, 5 days later, we found them wandering the back 40, and were able to catch them and bring them home. Since then, things have been going very slowly, and the thought of riding has all but disappeared. The weather is getting so cold, and with it is coming a lethargy that I have to fight off. It's windy and only plus 5 degrees (Celsius) today, and I was planning on trying to ride, but no such luck. However, we have had some good points since my last post. I have found a new, wonderful farrier who actually knows what he is doing, and charges less. Holly has learned to pick up all four feet and not pull them away whenever I try and do something with her. And, I am involved in Pony Club, and have started Dressage lessons which are teaching me lots and definitely improving my posture and balance, something that hopefully makes its way into me riding my own horses. (Which is coming, I promise you)

Me and My Horses

Holly was born on May 31, 2004, just outside of Spiritwood, Saskatchewan, at Yellow Rose Longhorns. The people who bred her did not breed for conformation or ability, and her parents had not accomplished much more than being half decent ranch horses. This is quite usual around where I live, since as long as the horse can be rode, it don't matter how the heck they're put together or what their parents did or didn't do.

Holly was simply bred because her parents were a pretty color, and she could be registered as a brand spankin' new breed, the 'Arappaloosa', which is a cross between an Arabian and an Appaloosa. "Then", her breeders thought, "we can maybe make lots of $$ cause Arappaloosas are so rare and everybody's gonna want 'em." Holly recieved the Appaloosa coloring (varnish roan), the Arabian size, and in the summer, if you look closely, she has a slightly dished face. Other than that, she's not anything special conformation wise.

Holly at 2 years old, when my parents first bought her

We never were able to register her as an Arappaloosa, because the registry is apparently no longer in existance. So, she's just a pretty colored grade horse with no major conformation faults. She does have slight cow hocks, and her withers are lower than her hips, which makes it hard to fit a saddle to her.

But, back to Holly's past. Apparently, she changed hands a couple of times before ending up with someone who decided to donate her to 4-H. The club he chose was the one I was in at the time. The older kids started to ride her just after she turned two, and then the club leader turned around and said, "lets raffle her off at $2 a ticket to make some money for the club." She was a light blanket Appaloosa at the time, with a snowflake pattern on her neck and withers. So, we went about selling tickets, and since I didn't have a horse at the time, the leader suggested I buy a ticket. He thought we would do good together, and we were both very inexperienced, me with horses, and Holly with people, and he thought that with his help we could learn together.

I didn't win the raffle, but the people who did had to move at the end of the summer, and they were having trouble with her (they were brand new horse owners who knew absolutely nothing, and later I found out that they were chucking their kids on her while she was out in the pasture, no saddle, bridle, or even halter. She had only had three controlled rides in her life, and they expected her to be a kids horse. No wonder she sent them flying and lost all respect for them. They had no respect for her.) My dad bought her for $500, and we set up an electric fence in our (quite large) back yard.

My mom told me that I had to ride her, or she would be sold, so right away I went to ride her, with my mom helping. My mom had taken riding lessons at about my age, but hadn't been around horses since. We had no saddle and only a halter. My mom put me up on Holly's back and led me around. The first day went well, second day went well, third day, mom decided I should get on bareback BACKWARDS, and I did, panicked, Holly panicked, shied, and I fell. From then on, I was frightened of her, and she knew it. I could halter her, but if I wanted to lead her, she would simply snap at me. I would back off, take the halter off, and run away.

Eventually it got to the point where if I entered the pasture she would come running up to me, bucking, kicking, being a goof, and trying to play, since she did not have another horse to be with. Unfortunately I did not realize this, and I thought she wanted to kill me.

My parents train and breed dogs for a living, and we had someone who bought a puppy from us, and in return for us training him, they wanted to train Holly. They were our friends and they knew the trouble I was having with her. So, off went Holly.

They did not have much trouble with her, she was quite an angel for them. And then, that fateful day. They were away for the day, and the power man came to check the meter. One power meter was located inside of the horse pasture, and when the man left, he left the gate open.

All of the horses escaped, and Holly waged war with a barbed wire fence, which she thankfully escaped from, but not unscathed. When out friends returned to their home that night they were greeted by all of the horses on the front lawn. Holly was standing alone, with a foot long, foot wide gash on her left shoulder. It was so bad that the vet told them she should be put down. However, she wasn't their horse, and they thought she had a chance.

Day after day of care later, Holly recovered to perfect soundness. There was no permanent nerve or muscle damage, and the only reminder of that accident is a foot long, jagged scar on Holly's shoulder.

Soon after Holly got better, our friends brought her back. We had built another temporary pasture for her homecoming, as we were still clearing land for a permanent pasture. They dropped Holly off, and left with their own horses. Holly panicked because she was left completely alone after 4 months of constant equine companionship. That night she jumped out of the pasture. We spent the entire next day looking for her, and found her standing with (on the opposite side of the fence) the nearest group of horses.

After that, my dad was freaked out, and believed we could not keep her if she was an escape artist, and sent her off to another friends house over the summer to pasture out with 20 other horses. But, in the fall, the permanent pasture was finished, and Holly returned home.

During the summer, I had been taking riding lessons from a local girl. She had taught herself to ride, and looking back, there was a lot of things she was doing wrong, and things she taught me to do wrong. She had no idea what proper saddle fit was, or the equitation seat. She never used her legs for anything except go forward, and contact was something out of her league. But, she was still jumping and giving riding lessons.

It seemed natural to start having riding lessons on my own horse. Things started out well. I even cantered on Holly a couple of times. Then we gave Holly a break for 2 weeks. When I went for the next lesson, as I was just getting up into the saddle with one foot in the stirrup, Holly started bucking. I had absolutely no chance at all of staying on. Even now I'm not quite sure what caused the bucking. The first thing that comes to mind, though, is saddle fit. Perhaps she had grown over the 2 weeks she'd been resting, and the saddle no longer fit. Or, maybe I jerked her in the mouth when I was mounting, and that set her off, as she was still learning and she is an extremely sensitive horse. I don't know, but after that I stopped riding.

I would go out every day and stay with her in the pasture, but she started to get really frisky as winter settled in. She would run up to me, turn around and run away, kicking and bucking. I would go and sit on top of the round bale, watching Holly run around and be crazy. I realize now that she was lonely, and she needed someone to play horse games with, but I didn't even know they existed. This escalated into Holly chasing me into some trees, and then rearing up right over top of me.

After that, I'd had enough. I loved Holly, but I couldn't do anything with her. I'd tried Parelli, Clinton Anderson, Craig Cameron, John Lyons, and traditional methods. None of these were working for Holly. I looked around, planning on giving Holly one more chance before sending her to the auction. What I found was a local trainer. I realize now how lucky I was not to put my trust in one of the many "cowboy horse breakers" that live in my area, and that Cindy (the trainer I found) was not one of them. She too had been raised in local 4-H with a strong "git on that thar horse and ride the tar out of it" mentality, and from a young age disagreed strongly with it.

Her love of horses and her passion to train them in their own language led her to Pat Parelli, which worked out well for her, with docile horses. But, when a horse decided to take advantage of her while lunging the Parelli way, and attack her from behind, she realized that it was not working as well as she thought.

Feeling betrayed by the "natural" horse world she almost gave up on horse training all together, until she found out about Chris Irwin, a horse trainer from Ontario whose non-resistant methods of horse training intrigued and inspired her. Finally, she had found a way that benefited both horse and handler, and was using the horse's very own language.

Perhaps it was fate the brought me to the end of my rope with Holly, and caused me to look around for outside help, and find such an incredible training method. All I know is that I have learned so much about Holly and myself from Cindy, and Chris' methods.

We sent Holly to Cindy, and she told us that Holly was perfect for her. No chasing, biting, stepping on, bucking, or rearing. She said that she was one of the nicest horses she had seen, and she didn't understand why she was there for training, because she was perfect. I couldn't understand why Holly was acting so well for Cindy, when she did all of the above bad things to me, at home.

Then, I realized it must be something to do with me. If Holly was perfect for Cindy, and a holy terror for me, then it must have been me causing her reactions.

Cindy showed me about body language, and how to 'talk' to Holly in her own language. I saw an immediate change. It was amazing. I had never seen a training method make so much sense to me before. You weren't really 'training' the horse. They already knew what they were doing. It was me that had to learn.

Since I still did not trust Holly after all of my bad experiences with her, I spent two years getting all of the ground work completely down pat. Then, with Cindy's help I started riding Holly. But it was not going well. I had not had any good riding experiences with a horse since before Holly had bucked me off, run away with me, etc, so I was terrified of riding. I would lock up and not allow Holly to move. She would feel trapped and crow hop a little, and I would bail. I was so terrified that even if she would drop her head to scratch on her leg, or stumble a little, I would immediately get off.
So, we decided that I needed a good horse that I could learn to trust riding again. Last October, we got Miss B, a chestnut Quarter horse. She is an amazing help to me getting my confidence back, but the only thing bad about having Miss B now is that her and Holly are buddy sour. I guess that is a part of life that we need to work through.

Also, Miss B is very dominant, but in a sneaky way, and she is very good at showing any annoyance, which lately has become me riding her. I still trust her enough to ride her inside, but she really does not enjoy it, and so I don't enjoy it much either. I'm working towards having her rideable again.

I started to ride Holly inside the round pen this winter, but I just couldn't spend enough time with the horses, and by the Spring they refused to be caught, and were very rude to me in their body language and gestures. Those problems drove me to find Chris Irwin's forum ( www.chrisirwin.com/new_forum ) which has turned out to be an awesome support group of other "Irwinites" and with their help I'm now able to catch my horses, I have a greatly improved relationship with them, and I've actually started riding Holly again.

That's kind of the story of my life with my horses and how I became aware of the Chris Irwin method of training horses. It really is great, and I won't ever go back now that I know what I know about horses.

The Journey

Ever since I can remember, I have been in love with horses. And it isn't the 'My Little Pony' love where you fall in love with the beauty of horses, and then fall out of love when you hit 'that' age. It's something deeper. Something deeply personal, woven into my DNA. A gift given to all girls, but one that only some wish to accept and embrace.

Even before I was old enough to read, I was looking through horse books, trying to learn from the pictures. When I eventually did learn to read, I ate the information up, trying to learn everything I could about the animal I had mysteriously come to adore.

But you can only learn so much from books from the library, and my family did not have the extra money to spend on buying me things that they thought I would just grow out of. So, I joined Light Horse 4-H, a club based using the head, heart, hands, and health to empower the club, the community and the country, trying to get hands on experience.

The leader of the club suggested I get my own horse, preferably a young one, so that we could 'learn together'. I had read in a book once that 'green on green make black and blue', or that an inexperienced horse, and an inexperienced rider created problems. However, it was a 'professional horse person' suggesting this, and he couldn't be wrong (or so I thought). And, I wanted a horse more than anything.

This is the part where Holly comes in. You can read more about her on the side bar. A two year old filly, who had been ridden 5 times, was for sale for $500. Her owners were moving, and needed to be rid of her by the afternoon. My parents were fairly positive that this horse thing was no longer a phase. So, when I was ten years old, we set up an electric fence on our large lawn, Holly came home, and The Journey began.

You may ask yourself, "What on Earth is The Journey?". Look in one dictionary and it will tell you the definition of journey is a travelling from one place to another. In a sense, that is exactly what The Journey is. It is travelling from the very first time I saw my first horse, to to the last time I will ever see a horse again. Yes, that is The Journey, and this blog will map it from past, to present, to future.